I know that nothing is as wrong or terrible as a child dying before their parent. And I come to this stage in my relationship with my mom knowing this. I am lucky to have a parent live so long. My feelings about this are nothing in comparison to what I imagine/hope hers would be if I or one of my kids were to die first. It's mostly so surprising. This is not characteristic of my mother. And realize that this comment in itself is a thing. Mostly, it's this--this is so very different than someone's kid/sibling dying. It's an entirely different category. I need to state this in order to go one writing about whatever is happening, whatever happens next. I have friends whose kids/siblings have died young, and that is wrong. I'm sure this is a way to minimize whatever I am feeling, but so be it. It is still true.
I know that nothing is as wrong or terrible as a child dying before their parent. And I come to this stage in my relationship with my mom knowing this. I am lucky to have a parent live so long. My feelings about this are nothing in comparison to what I imagine/hope hers would be if I or one of my kids were to die first. It's mostly so surprising. This is not characteristic of my mother. And realize that this comment in itself is a thing. Mostly, it's this--this is so very different than someone's kid/sibling dying. It's an entirely different category. I need to state this in order to go one writing about whatever is happening, whatever happens next. I have friends whose kids/siblings have died young, and that is wrong. I'm sure this is a way to minimize whatever I am feeling, but so be it. It is still true.
Oh my word, dearest. My heart goes out. x