This newsletter doesn’t require a subscription, and even so, subscriptions are free.
But a lot of you have subscribed. (And a couple of you have chosen to pay for a subscription and that is so exciting and surprisingly meaningful—thank you. I feel both guilty and elated. If you know me at all this will make sense.)
I do plan to do some subscriber-only posts soon but they will still be free. I like the idea of having a way to differentiate. There are things that feel more private? Or precious? I don’t know, exactly, but I like the idea of having another layer, even if I’m not sure how the layers work. In terms of it remaining free—I don’t see anything to gain by requirement payment. It’s not like this could be my living (see: bloggers, circa 2010.) I have a full time job, and while the idea of a side gig is enticing, I don’t want to lose any current or potential readers.
But it gives me a sense of freedom. Things I think about sharing differently: Conversations, real and in my head, with my mom, my BCF dad, the donor, and my various half-siblings. And then talking about what the hell BCF means and how it’s part of my world now. And how I sort my half-siblings. What “the donor” means to me.
I do talk about these things in the posts, but I also get more specific in my emails and conversations with a few friends. I’m not sure how I feel about sharing it more publicly. I’m still trying to figure out how to give privacy to my family-I-grew-up-with, the donor and relatives I have just met—none of whom know I’m sharing any of this semi-publicly.
My idea is that an occasional subscriber-only post would allow me to be a little less guarded while still protecting their privacy, and mine (admittedly I am less concerned about mine.)
Thoughts? I would truly welcome any input—please message me directly (you probably know how) or you can comment here.