Here was my previous assessement of the donor situation:
If my suspicion is correct, that he and his wife have an agreement that they/he won’t meet me, I need to deal with/ultimately accept that. One concern is that he’ll reply equivocally, like "[he or she] has [covid/whatever]”, or “we’d love to see you but have plans.” Which would prolong my hope and cause me to hone my strategy.
I think he’ll be clear. I’m pretty sure I know what kind of clear he’ll be, and two-plus years later, combined with a therapist who keeps me honest, I accept that he has the right to live how he wishes.
I was proven wrong—always good, whether I like the outcome or not—keeps me in check.
As weird as it is, he and his wife hadn’t talked about how they felt about meeting me. Donor has said that he likes that bro-dude and I are in touch, and he knew that bro-dude and I are meeting next month.
Given that donor and wife made the decision 55+ years ago—together—and that donor and I have been talking for 2+ years…I assumed they had a Plan.
Anyway—they did not have a plan. They had never discussed it. They did discuss it after I asked about meeting them in my emails.
Donor said it was a good conversation, and they look forward to having coffee/lunch with me next month. They will drive up to the town where I am staying with my friend.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Totally no big deal.
Thanks for your good wishes.
WOWEE! Amazing, girl.